Crash and Burn
by Rhiannon6
Summary: Ian/Sara romantic, I couldn't help it... Sara's really torn up about Conchobar's death, will Nottingham be able to help her? r/r please


A/N: song lyrics have ~these~ around them. The song is "Crash and Burn" by Savage Garden.  
  
Sara sat on her bed crying silently, hugging her knees to her chest. She kept repeating the same thing to herself in her mind... "He's gone... I can't believe he's really gone..."  
  
It had been four days since Conchobar's murder, and it was all she could think about. She didn't eat, didn't sleep, talked to no one, and hardly moved. She didn't even talk to Danny when he made his occasional appearance to see how she was doing. Jake and Gabriel were worried sick; she never answered their calls, or answered the door when they dropped by.  
  
Outside her window, Ian sat on the fire escape, watching her intently. He wished more than anything that he could do something to help her. He could tell she was desperate for a way out of her depression, could see in her eyes she had many thoughts of suicide. Knowing she would say nothing and make no move to stop him, he silently opened her window and entered her quiet apartment.  
  
He walked over to a lone radio on her bedside table and turned it on, hoping that maybe something in the music would bring her out of this death- like trance. The music played softly, echoing in the otherwise silent room, but Sara made no apparent change.  
  
He looked around the room. Everything was still all over the floor, broken and thrown about from the kidnappers' struggle with Conchobar. Ian looked back at Sara, who was still curled up in a ball, tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were glazed over and she stared blankly at a broken mirror on the floor.  
  
Gently running a hand through Sara's disheveled hair, he walked away from the bed. He picked up a few pieces of broken glass off the floor, and placed a still-intact vase on her kitchen table. Taking a few minutes, he tidied up her apartment as best he could, picking up the broken shards of most of her belongings. But knowing it must have some important place in keeping Sara's sanity, he left the mirror alone.  
  
He looked back at Sara, who still sat motionless and silent. Her face was unnaturally pale from malnutrition. Turning to her kitchen, he walked to the refrigerator. Opening it, he found very little actually in there, but decided to make do with what he had. He took out a container of what looked to be leftover Chinese take-out, and put it in the microwave until it was warm. He grabbed a fork from her silverware drawer and walked back into her bedroom.  
  
Sitting next to her, he took a forkful of rice and held it up to Sara's mouth. "Come on, Sara," he whispered to her in a comforting tone that was new to him, "you have to eat something." To his surprise, her lips parted slightly, and he spooned the food into her mouth. When there was nothing more left in the container, he slowly stood up, and took it back into the kitchen.  
  
Reentering the bedroom, he was once again surprised to see that she had moved. She was no longer curled into a tight ball, but was now just sitting on the edge of the bed, feet flat on the floor and back straight, arms still wrapped around herself and eyes just as glazed and distant as before. Nonetheless, it was progress.  
  
As he sat down next to her, a new song started on the radio, and Ian recognized it, then chuckled to himself at the irony of the lyrics. ~When you feel all alone, And the world has turned its back on you, Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart.~ The song reflected how he felt for her; he just wished he could tell her that.  
  
~I know that you feel like the walls are closing in on you, It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold, When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take it anymore.~ Before he realized he was doing it, he wrapped his arms around Sara's thin form, holding her in a way as to comfort her as well as himself. "Sara, please, you have to get better," he whispered into her ear, "There are a lot of people really worried about you. Your friends are all waiting to hear from you."  
  
~Let me be the one you call, If you jump I'll break your fall, Lift you up and fly away with you into the night, If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart, If you need to crash then crash and burn, You're not alone.~ "Please, Sara, they want you to get better... I want you to get better." He took off his thick leather gloves, and ran his fingers through her hair, brushing it away from her face.  
  
~When you feel all alone, And a loyal friend is hard to find, You're caught in a one way street, With the monsters in your head, When hopes and dreams are far away and, You feel you can't face the day.~ "I care about you, and I hate seeing you like this. I am truly sorry about what happened to Conchobar, I know you loved him deeply... but you need to move on. You're hurting yourself, and it pains me to see you this way. Please, Sara, I..." He trailed off as he felt her arms wrap around him, and her head rest against his chest. He smiled in spite of himself, and pulled her closer.  
  
~Let me be the one you call, If you jump I'll break your fall, Lift you up and fly away with you into the night, If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart, If you need to crash then crash and burn, You're not alone.~ He ran his fingers along her cold, pale cheek, brushing away her tears. "I would do anything for you, Sara. I will always be here for you... if you ever need me, all you have to do is ask, and I will be here without fail. I promise..."  
  
~Because there has always been heartache and pain, And when it's over you'll breathe again, You'll breathe again.~ Sara's eyes slowly came back into focus, and she blinked a few times. Closing her eyes as new tears ran down her cheeks, she whispered, barely audible, "....thank you, Ian..."  
  
~When you feel all alone, And the world has turned its back on you, Give me a moment please, To tame your wild wild heart.~ He smiled when he heard her voice. "Anytime, Sara." He pulled away from her a little, and put his hand under her chin, then lifted her head until their eyes met. He stared deep into her eyes for what seemed a long time, and she stared back, visibly back to herself, but still upset.  
  
~Let me be the one you call, If you jump I'll break your fall, Lift you up and fly away with you into the night, If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart, If you need to crash then crash and burn, You're not alone.~ Brushing his fingers once more along her cheek, he opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated for a moment. He wasn't sure if she'd remember this, but he wanted her to know. "I love you, Sara..." he whispered. Before she could react, he kissed her softly.  
  
As the last chords of the song played, Sara opened her eyes and looked around. Ian was gone. What a way to make an exit, she thought to herself, running her fingers along her lips. Then, laughing quietly, she stood up, and picked up the broken pieces of her mirror.  
  
Outside the window, Ian sat on the fire escape, watching as Sara picked up the mirror. He closed his eyes, allowing himself a few seconds to remember those last moments before he left. As he opened his eyes, he looked back at the window to see Sara staring at him. She watched him for a few seconds, then spoke. Though he could not hear her, he could plainly tell what she said. "I love you too..."  
  
And then she was gone, headed out her front door, motorcycle helmet in hand. 


End file.
